Five Best Rides on Pimp My Ride

My dream is to have the Pimp My Ride posse makeover my car so it has a cotton candy machine and a disco ball hanging dead in my backseat dance floor. Man, who doesn’t love the MTV show where the GAS team (who always cringe when the vehicle rolls into the shop), along with rap superstar Xzibit, do their magic on the biggest clunkers on the road. The result is a pimped out masterpiece, which features wild and maybe impractical ostentatious features. Those whose ride has been pimped always end up going ape-shit when they witness their Phoenix that has risen from the ashes.

Here are my five favs from Season 5:

1) Justin’s ’97 Toyota RAV4

(MTV video: Justin’s craptastic Toyota RAV4)

THE CAR: Justin describes his car as crap-tastic! The RAV4 looks like it took a road trip through Baghdad. The backseat resembles an illegal waste dumping ground. The bumper hangs on for dear life—the result of a 3 car pile up. Justin got rear-ended so bad it blew out his window and crushed the rear door shut. Justin’s monstrosity makes girls so angry; there’re key marks and dents to prove it. Romeo Justin needs help to entice his Juliet

THE GAS TEAM RESULT: Justin’s car is turned into a chick magnet. With its two-tone Mercedes silver and Escalade black paint job, the red leather interior is suitable for a romantic dream date. Check this out, besides a personal drive-in movie theater that projects on the pop-up trunk, there’s a CHOCOLATE FONDUE FOUNTAIN! Huh!? Yes, Justin can have chocolate fondue ANYTIME HE WANTS!

2) Comic Book Geek’s 1991 Honda CRX

(MTV video: Jonathan’s Honda Silver Surfer)

THE CAR: According to Chamillionaire, the CRX is the, “Oompah Loompa of Hondas.” The vehicle was sold to the comic book geek after it got in an accident with a semi-truck—and it shows! No radio. No AC. Every panel is trashed. The antenna has to be held onto the roof to play the radio. Fantastic 4 figurines adorn the dashboard. It looks like The Thing had a way with this ride

THE GAS TEAM RESULT: They give a Fantastic Four pimpin,’ comic-geek style. Metallic, pure mirror chrome turns the Honda CRX into a machine the Silver Surfer would drive. A magic touch door popper system is how you gain entry. The trunk looks part of The Thing, with 2,000 watts of superpower audio and a gaming system. Here’s the kicker, with plexi-glass and a motorized arm, the glove compartment becomes a secret comic book vault that always keeps a rare Fantastic Four issue in arm’s length. This is a nerdy comic book lovers dream mobile.

“Oh my god!” says the comic book geek, as it’s love at first sight.

3) Robert’s ‘84 Chevy Vegas Van

(MTV video: Robert’s Vegas-ready Chevy van)

THE CAR: This van has seen better days. Robert’s Grandma won this beast in Vegas back in 84. The side is spray-painted with a mural of old school Vegas, with hotels that aren’t even around anymore. Dog poo stains are now on the carpet. The engine sits right inside so fumes go directly into the van. Robert has to literally wear a gas mask when he drives.

THE GAS TEAM RESULT: Some re-pimping needs to be done to get the Chevy back to its, “if the van’s a rockin’ don’t bother knocking” glory. Robert hits the jackpot. The van is painted gold. A customized slot machine is fitted on the door, which needs to be pulled to get in. The van sprays playing cards out the side exhaust pipe. The bling-bling around the headlights turns daylight in the sunlight. Here’s the big hand, inside is a white baby grand piano with a roulette wheel inside. To replace the dog poop, there’s now a craps table on the floor. The Rat Pack would be envious.

Needless to say, Robert freaks out.

4) Tenita’s ’65 Ford Thunderbird

(MTV Video: Tenita’s raggedy ’65 Thunderbird)

THE CAR: A graduation present from her dad, this “classic” Thunderbird is one dirty bird. It looks saved from the salvage heap. The trunk only opens with a crowbar. Nothing works in the interior. Loose wires need to be held together, from the battery, to power the windows. This eye-soar barely rolls into the shop. This classic needs some massive pimping!

THE GAS TEAM RESULT: New wings are put on this old bird. A paint job with pearl white, mint green and diamond design is laid down. The hood opens to the side. Like the Clapper, the Snapper now opens the windows. When the trunk opens, cameras snap your photo, which is displayed on a series of monitors. The speakers, 12-inch woofers, rotate 360 degree. A 500 horsepower Ford racing engine sits behind it all, with Kumho racing tires that actually burn pink smoke. This bird is ready to fly.

Tenita flips out!

5) Seth’s ‘89 Nissan Maxima

(MTV video: Seth’s nasty ’89 Nissan Maxima)

THE CAR: Once the hip cars to drive in hip-hop, neighbors now think Seth’s vehicle has been abandoned, when parked on the street he occasionally has to pay to get it back from the impound. Roly-poly Seth has to climb in through the back seat because the front doors don’t work. Lights dangle from all sides. Nothing works. It often overheats and has to be pushed out of intersections. The back seat is littered with candy.

THE GAS TEAM RESULT: The Nissan is painted midnight blue and lightening graphics. The rear doors now open on hydraulics like the DeLorean in Back to the Future. A robotic arm plays a triangle. The back seat slides out to reveal a whole entertainment system with 1000-watt amps and a karaoke machine. And, for big boy’s sweet tooth………a cotton Candy machine right in the trunk! (Hey, that’s what I wanted.)

Believe it or not, Seth goes nuts.

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