By Adrienne Gruben

Recent friends Michele Abbate and Jessica Dunford represent the newest, youngest wave of aspiring lady racers and grease monkeys, and while it’s super tempting to focus on their manners and cute-ness — which might not immediately spring to mind writing about fella drivers — what does make them like any other aspiring racer is their passion for all things torque.

A Junior majoring in Marketing and Communications at UNLV, Las Vegas native, Michele Abbate competed in her first Autocross at age 16 in a 1999 Pontiac Grand Am GT in North Las Vegas where she applied her childhood experiences with indoor and outdoor karting. In 2006, her first year of competition, she placed first in her class, and 2nd overall in Ladies PAX points, just 1 point away from first place. Entering her first track day in April of 2009 at Spring Motorsports Ranch in Pahrump, NV, by the end of that year, Michele had placed within the top 5 of the Redline Events.

Jessica Dunford grew up in Washington State, where she competed in regional and national artistic rollerskating championships. A fan of monster trucks growing up, when she was asked what she wanted to be when she grew up, while other little girls said “princess,” Jessica said, “The Gravedigger.” An avid break-dancer, Jessica joined MazdasNW, where she fell in love with the mechanics side of things, started test driving cars, and also, car modeling. She moved to California in 2009 to pursue a career in dance, but opted out, and instead, joined Mazda Owners Club of California, and has consistently done events with them since. Jessica drives a 1992 Corolla, and would like to further her love of turning wrenches by going to mechanics’ school.

Adrienne Gruben: Ok Michele, you first, how did you get started with all of this business?

Michele Abbate: My brother and dad had raced since I was 8. I was surrounded by it my whole life, but it’s not like it was considered something girls should do. But, when I got my first competitive car at 16, a 1999 Pontiac Grand Am GT, I entered an autocross in North Los Vegas. Dad did go to that event, one of the few he went to. I think he assumed I would do a few and be done.

Gruben: So how many autocrosses have you done?

Abbate: About 78 — the majority in Las Vegas, but some in Arizona, California.

Gruben: Ok, so why Gymkhana?

Abbate: It gave me a chance to experience a totally different aspect of racing. It’s something I’ve never done before. It incorporated drifting, but it’s more relaxed than autocross. I really favored the idea of it incorporating a number of driving skills: time attack, drifting, autocross/grip, and even drag racing.

Gruben: How’d you do?

Abbate: Well, I went 5 or 6 times, and I think my best time was 1:04:07

Gruben: What’s next for you, short term and long term?

Abbate: I want to get my NASA (National Auto Sport Association) racing license. I’m currently in NASA’s HPDE 4, this is the highest level where you get to do Time Attack, and work towards advancing to Time Trial group (which requires the NASA racing license).  In addition, I compete as often as financially possibly in the Redline Time Attack series.  I have also been extending my experience of driving and seat time by racing Legends Cars with 600 Racing. I want this to be my career so I work towards doing any events possible that will allow me more seat time. This includes, track days, autocross, and karting events.

Gruben: Do you have sponsorship?

Abbate: I am fortunate to have a few sponsors. Tunerzedge is my newest sponsor, and made it possible for me to compete at Gymkhana. H1 Performance (h1racing.com), helps me tremendously with all of my engine and suspension work. Race Photo Labs maintains my website and takes active photos at most of my events. Protege Garage supports me with parts for my rare car, and Falco Tire Distributors keeps my tires adequate for the track.

Gruben: Have you ever been offered a ride in which to compete?

Abbate: For Subiefest in September of 2009, I was offered a 2008 Subaru WRX STI to compete in by Crawford Performance. It was at Willow Springs and I placed really well considering I had never driven an all-wheel-drive car, nor on that specific track. If I hadn’t gotten a fully sponsored ride from Crawford Performance, who built Ken Block’s first two Gymkhana cars, I never would have been able to compete because it is limited to Subaru models only.

Gruben: Ok, so speaking of, in the Gymkhana event, you drove a 2003.5 Mazdaspeed Protege. Is this your daily driver?

Abbate: Yes, I have only one car and I do everything with it. I use it to get to work and school, for autocross, for track events, and it even has a hitch to tow my tires for out of state events… Or my Sea-Doo on the summer weekends!

Gruben: I know you said H1 Performance does your engine and suspension, but what about other maintenance?

Abbate: I work on the car everyday. Just last night I was doing the alignment. I do all the work, but I make sure to get help when I’m not sure what I’m doing. My Dad and brother help me occasionally; I learned most my knowledge from watching and listening to them for years.

Gruben: Ok, so what about the “girl” factor?

Abbate: I don’t really ever see or acknowledge the “girl” factor. For example, I used to play basketball. I’ve always been into male sports. It does turn heads, it gets you attention, but I want to ultimately be seen as a racer, not a female racer. I will say this. When I’m kart racing, and I can by physically seen, I will hide my hair in my helmet so other racers don’t notice as easily. In general, I don’t see enough women in the racing scene, I’d love to see more, and also, a pet peeve of mine is Ladies Division/Classes. I don’t think there is a need to have a Ladies Classes vs Open Classes. Since I’ve started I’ve made it a point to run in Open Classing; you won’t see me in the Ladies Classes if there is ever an option for it.

Gruben: Ok, Jessica, your turn.

Jessica Dunford: Well, first off, I agree with Michele. I don’t agree with Ladies Classes, I mean, I think everyone should be in Open Classes. I like to drive with the boys, and I like to drive like them. The lady thing, it does get you attention, but it is a double-edged sword.

Gruben: What brought you to all of this?

Dunford: A while ago, my friend Drew got me into a club called MazdasNW. From the both, I learned the mechanic’s side of it, and I got to experience my first track day at 19. It was at a little airstrip, where I got to learn threshold braking, slalom, how to turn on apexes correctly, and how to drive autocross. Actually, when I really started to get noticed was when I did some modeling for Hot Import Nights as a joke. I guess I get underneath cars, and sit on top of them as well!! (laughs) but getting underneath cars, I love it, I love rolling fenders, I love turning wrenches. It gets my gears going. I’m obsessed.

Gruben: Ok, you’re awesome. Where do you see yourself heading with all of this?

Dunford: Well, I would love to build a car from scratch. An import car with my own specs, with my own technology. It would be in the $40k range, so it is a long, long way out. Maybe when I’m rich! Also, I want to drive like Michele. She is one of my idols.

Abbate: Ah, really? That’s so nice!!!

Photo credits: Michele Abbate, Jessica Dunford, Adrienne Gruben, JR Reyes (juniormonkey.com), Dave Lach

Michele shows off her skilz driving her track car/dailydriver, a Mazda Protege. Proof positive that pure talent can always find a way to do more with less.

Click here to view the embedded video.

It’s one thing to watch Fast and Furious; it’s another thing entirely to get out there in your Mazdaspeed Protege, home built Caterham replica or even Corvette (though US made cars are sniffed at amongst this crew) and try to drift on your own. But the threat of being exposed as well-intentioned, but lacking mad-skills; painfully average, or worse, a straight up jackass did not stop people from showing up at the Gymkhana Grid Series event at Hollywood Park on Sunday.

The event, produced by Grid Series founder Chris Willard gave regular (some of whom were delusional) folk, skilled amateurs, pros, and super-duper pros, like Ken Block — who was in da house showing off his new Ford Fiesta Gymkhana special (not sniffed at because a) it’s basically British, and b) uh, Ken Block’s driving it) — the opportunity  to make Gymkhana be the super-trendy thing that the adrenaline junkies talk about for the next five minutes. Or, depending how the post-event buzz goes, it could make people super-psyched that Ken Block is hosting a Gymkhana invitational Dec 3-4 in Irwindale, and give autocross’ more fun and complicated cousin, a little more lasting power.

With the objective of Gymkhana being to finish the course (a course which is best served memorized!) with the fastest time, drivers make their way around cones by performing 360 degree spins, among other moves, and yes, drifting. At today’s event, there were two mirror image courses (except that one was slightly bumpier than the other), and the 95 or so drivers lined up to take one or the other, offering a tacit pass to the more skilled drivers to go out several times. It’s like high-school, but you don’t get a wedgie if you cut in line.

What is most shocking is that Ken Block finished first in 54 seconds, except for the part about that being shocking. Coming in second, at 57 seconds, was super-fast drifter, Alex Pfeiffer, the fella in that home built Caterham I mentioned before (aka Lotus 7, aka a million other names) who liked to refer to his car as his “beer runner. Sad to learn that “beer runner” was already in use as a personalized license plate, the second place winner got a suggestion from an adoring racing fan that was so jaw-dropping that it restored my faith in, well, nothing, because he suggested that one “e” be changed to “a”.

The event was not without its hiccups. Drivers were temporarily waylaid when track officials ran out to say that the popping exhausts were making the track’s horses throw riders. (I think the horses were upset by the threat of a license plate that read “bear runner.”) When that was all settled, the B course was temporarily shut down by the same officials because lookie-loo spectators were lined outside the fence hoping to catch some super-cool drifting. The fear being that these lookie loos, if decapitated, might hold the track liable. Though I’m not quite sure how a floating head could obtain legal representation, but this IS America, so…

The ones with heads did, in fact, catch some cool drifting, especially when Block was driving, but they also caught a lot of jackasses forced to confront their own mediocrity after maneuvering the obstacles by going the wrong way. All in all, the event allowed skilled autocross drivers to try their hand at something new, and regular folks to chase their dreams, but the frequent visits from track officials made me think of the U2 “Streets Have No Name” video where the band is performing on a downtown LA roof as the cops are trying to shut them down. I guess the one difference is that Bono can probably spell beer.

Back in 1981, when the Talking Heads sang about the “large automobile” in their class-angst anthem “Once in a Lifetime,” and its spirit-shriveling effect on the song’s anti-hero dad, no one had a clue that just two years later, something called a “minivan” would debut, and proceed to enchant, confound, comfort and embarrass scores of dads to come–especially because it all started innocently enough.

With the van no longer the stuff of Beach Boys songs, portals between virginity and crabs, and false memories of family vacay singalongs (instead of the real version where dad swerved the van onto the shoulder, slammed it into park and threw everyone’s luggage out before threatening to take off alone),–the family decided it wanted to actually be able to park their lugging mechanism in the garage, and get more efficiency out of the deal.

And so, the modern incarnation of the minivan was born, and its ob-gyn was Chrysler who, in 1983, delivered the landscape-changing Dodge Caravan and Plymouth Voyager. It was probably on their Voyager’s car stereo that families heard Ronald Reagan say, “It’s morning in America.”

It was certainly morning for the minivan, and throughout the 80′s, it was smooth sailing-image wise for a certain type of American dad. You could sit up high, and not only was Mom suddenly King of the Road during the day, after work, dad was King of Home Depot–able to buy plywood, load it in the car, and have it out to work on in time for Hardcastle and McCormick, Knight Rider, or the A-Team. But then he started to get a little itchy.

Minivans got a little nicer — and the more mom looked at home in her Toyota Previa or Honda Odyssey, the more dad started to feel like the guy in “Once in a Lifetime” when he says, “You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile. You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife. You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?” And so he got the hell out of there and started driving a Sports Utility Vehicle, and he started to feel like himself again–until SUVs started to look a little too bulky, seem a little too pricey, and according to the cute eco-girl serving his mocha at the Starbuck’s, it made the air a little too dirty.

And so, not just based on the realization that he had become the guy who drinks mochas, again, he started to get itchy. And then again with the Talking Heads song, he thought, “Where does that highway lead to?” For the answer, all he had to do was go to the part of the song that says, “After the money’s gone,” because that highway led to a big, fat recession. It also revealed a distinct philosophical schism between dads of two distinct eras.

Gen X and some Gen Y dads struggle with what the minivan meant when they were coming of age in the 1980s. For some of them, driving one is like raising a hand in the hair and saying, “Hey sad clown of life, do you need a sidekick?” And so dads of that generation with some means (and some “I’m totally over the minivan!” mommies) have forsaken their minivans for the crossover. But for Gen X and Y dads on a budget, or Echo Boomer Dads, the currently in-first-place Chrysler Town and Country; the desperately-in-need-of-a-style-makeover Odyssey; the image-challenged dark horse Toyota Sienna, and the work-horse Dodge Caravan, make all kinds of safety, cargo carrying, price-point sense.

Plus, the Echo Boomer Dads have never even heard that Talking Heads song, but on their way to play softball with the guys, followed by a Red Dead Redemption video-game marathon, they need to drop their kids off at School-of-Rock class, and they need to do it all in the “I couldn’t care less”, bang-for-the-buck minivan. Mommy agreed to cosign the video game marathon AND pick up the kids after class as long as she gets to take her prayer-group girls to a spa/Rascal Flatts Concert weekend in Tucson. So to the guy in the Talking Heads song I say, “THAT’S where that highway leads.”

By Adrienne Gruben

Ok, the last time I actually did it was last week, but after reading the latest, I’d have to be a complete idiot to continue texting while on the road. And while I like to think of myself as too punk to sign up for Oprah’s anti-texting, “No Phone Zone,” campaign (now boasting 167, 078 participants), I am committing to one person, frequent CarReview poster and master cyclist Derek, to knock it off.

Now, texting is not the only “distracted driving” issue facing drivers, however it is the more buttony of the “distracted driving” hot-button issues, so let’s go there first.  According to such-and-such study, in 2008, 500,000 people were injured and 6,000 were killed by distracted drivers, and some argue that texting is the most dangerous. Whether that is true or not, the “from bonehead to dead” factor is high here, and people are pissed: 20 states are now enacting some type of legislation banning drivers from texting, and there are rumblings that Congress might take the whole thing Federal.

This is good news for people who don’t want to die because some dude needed to tell his fantasy hockey league to “Suck it!” because a goalie in Winnipeg lost a testicle, and while this is a little cynical, it’s a rating gimme for lawmakers jumping to create “Keep our kids safe!” legislation. But since we are being cynical, let’s stay there for a bit.

A study released yesterday said that, and let me just quote someone else’s headline, “Most people can’t talk on a cellphone and drive safely, study finds.” In this study–on actual people, not little lab gerbils driving Kia Souls – 97.5 percent of the folks who were asked to perform a series of memorization and math exercises while using cell phones – INCLUDING HANDS-FREE ONES -  increased their braking time by 20%, or saw a decrease in their overall driving performance that mimicked that of drunk drivers. And you, the one there thinking that you are in that 2.5% of “super-taskers”, you’re not. Put it this way: are you SURE you turned off the coffee maker this morning. So where’s the cynicism?

Lawmakers seem a weeeeee bit more reluctant to rush towards creating laws against driving while talking on the phone, especially hands-free devices. Even lawmakers in California, which is the “And so goes the nation,” state seem to go “la, la, la, I can’t hear you,” regarding the hands-free issue – probably because the perception would go from “He cares about the kids!” to “He’s Mao Tse-tung !” – if anyone knew who Mao was. They’d probably just be like, “The Government is so up my ass.” Just troll for reader comments after articles on the issue. Some genius wrote, “So wut, now I can’t turn to talk to my frend in the passnjer seet?” To that I say, “Frends don’t let frends rite reader commints.”

What’s also dubious is that alcohol related fatalities dropped significantly between the 80′s and 90′s, but there has been little movement between 1992 and now. Twice as many folks were killed in 2007 by drunk drivers – 1/3 of all traffic fatalities that year – than by texters in 2008. An independent report blamed not only the reduced level of spending on things like checkpoints and other prevention measures, but also drunk driving’s loss of its buttony-ness in the hot-button issue game.

So while no one will disagree that death is  bad – it seems like it’s even worse if the cause of death is trendy, like, say, having been mentioned on Oprah, or better yet, those little Kia gerbils.

	MORE CAMPAIGNS ON THE INTERNET DEDICATED TO STOPPING DISTRACTED DRIVING
	Oprah’s No Phone Zone – Oprah’s campaign to end distracted driving. Need we say more?
	Autoweek – Sign the petition and pledge to end distracted driving, links to more information and sites dedicated to end distracted driving.
	U.S. Department of Transportation Campaign Against Distracted Driving - Department of Transportation’s leading effort to prevent distracted driving. The message is simple – Put it down!
	Governor’s State Highway Safety Association – The States’ Voice on Highway Safety. State legislatures have responded to the growing concern over cell phone use and texting while driving by passing laws that ban handheld cell phone use or texting.
	National Safety Council – “Understanding the Distracted Brain” white paper, Cell phone crash estimate fact sheet, and more information about distracted driving.

No one talks about how ugly Shrek is anymore – it’s so beyond that – so hopefully people will stop wondering, like they’ve been doing a lot lately, whether the Nissan Juke is too funny-looking to develop a following. I guess when the Juke – introduced at last year’s Geneva Motor Show as the Qazana concept car, and this year as the Juke proper – goes on sale in the US this Fall, we’ll find out once and for all if people like its big ole’ (inverted) headlamps and wheel arches, and its futuristic Day Light Opening shape, or not.

Now, I still gotta give Nissan a “Ya think?” regarding their assertion at today’s press conference that the Juke “will stretch the boundaries of what ‘crossover’ means.” Nissan let us know that the Juke borrows its toughness from Nissan’s family of SUVs, but its “driving pleasure…stylish good looks…and 1.6 liter, turbo-charged, direct-injection engine” from the sports side of the family. There is also a meager resemblance to the sedan side, and it seems that while they were pregnant with the Juke, they kept whispering onto Mommy’s tummy the word “small.” Promptly confusing that smallness is the Juke’s 5 seat cabin and the fact that in sitting high over traffic, you feel bigger than you are; wait, maybe that means you are small, or medium? What?

While it is Nissan’s hope that “80% of Juke buyers will be new to Nissan,” mine is that they didn’t project so many influences onto its new baby that it’s going to end up in therapy, and by therapy I mean a significantly reduced or even canceled production order.

So how will it all play out? With a power rating of 188-hp and 177 ft-lbs of torque, its fuel economy numbers and price are still MIA, but both numbers are expected to be impressive, especially because its older cousin, the Rogue, is priced at $20,000. With an inevitably lower sticker price, we’ve got a clue into Nissan’s intended buyer for the Juke: young ‘uns.

And with Toyota’s recent luck and sales numbers falling last month – I heard by nearly 10% – there may be even more young ‘uns looking for the next big thing. Or in the Juke’s case, it would be the next big, medium and small thing. More promising is that even before Toyota execs started bowing apologies all over TV, Nissan’s (along with Ford’s, GM’s and Honda’s) numbers had grown double digits compared with a year ago.  In fact, some observers are rumbling that while one shouldn’t underestimate Subaru or Hyundai, Nissan’s gains in November (21%), and the brand up 30% overall, could make the company a formidable competitor in their various markets. Now with the Juke, if only we could figure out what market that is.

###

Powering Juke is a standard 1.6-liter Direct Injection Gasoline (DIG™) Turbo, 16-valve DOHC aluminum-alloy inline 4-cylinder engine rated at 180+ horsepower and 170+ lb-ft of torque. The engine, the first application in North America, combines energetic performance and good fuel economy. Two transmissions are offered – Nissan’s advanced Xtronic CVT™ (Continuously Variable Transmission) with S-Mode and a 6-speed manual transmission (SV FWD and SL FWD models only).

Juke’s torque vectoring AWD system splits torque up to 50:50 between the front and rear wheels and can also can split torque from side-to-side across the rear axle. When cornering, the system helps reduce understeer and enhance the vehicle’s cornering feel. The following video demonstrates Nissan’s torque vectoring AWD system.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Continuing my focus on the American automakers’ efforts at the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS), I want to look at one of Daewoo’s descendents, the 5-door, 5-passenger, Chevy Aveo. I wrote that everyone borrows from everyone else, though less from the Americans, and while it’s not surprising that it was Chevy was doing some borrowing, it is surprising is how bi-polar they are being about it.

Some say that Chevy is re-appropriating the Daewoo but complaining that just because you bought ‘em doesn’t mean you gotta be ‘em, and if you’re gonna do it, be honest. My belief is that they borrowed just as much from the Scion xD and a little from the Scion xA, but its more fun for people who write comments on articles to kvetch about its similarities to Daewoo.

They went on to quash most of the Asian references by referring to the hatch as “a European-inspired hot hatch look designed to appeal to young enthusiasts.” As I referenced yesterday, they said the same thing about the Spark, so I think the design shout-out was again to the MINI, but they also used the term “upscale- looking.”

They also said, “We are…serious about redefining the Aveo, and its place in the small-car segment.” Translated: “NOT a Daewoo!” But then Chevy does the bi-polar thing by using the term “many personalization options.” Is this a veiled remark to steal L.A. Scion drivers who have had a long love affair with the aftermarket?

Throwing a wrench, Chevy marketing explained that there is a team – who I picture in lab coats – working to localize the car, hopefully without making it obvious with images of Uncle Sam, apple pie and the cast of “Jersey Shore” painted on the side. Are they trying to be all things to all people?

As I’ve said, slowly, but surely the Americans are trying to transform their lineups using the “homage” model, but again, baby steps are smart. It’s like when my brunette friend who wanted to go blonde did it slowly over a year, one highlight session at a time. I’d totally forgotten she was ever brunette until I started writing this story. So let’s take a look at those highlights.

We’ve got the straight-up Chevy-ish dual element grille, round taillamps and fender flares, an upgrade wrench with low openings and a lower mouth with a combination of brushed and polished aluminum around the edges. Outboard fog lamps co-mingled with a brake-cooling inlet that eases into the front fender flares, creates an angry-looking face.

I was fascinated by last year’s 370Z offering by Nissan’s angry off-looking headlights, but I’m all for it, and angry-faces are just as American, especially these days. Chevy wants folks to have an emotional reaction to the fresh design choices, and I think when you look angry, you’re going to get a response. My being a fan of a pissed looking cars-my reaction is “Yesss!” I guess I still like bad-boys with street cred.

Street cred? Separating  it from the Spark, the front-wheel drive subcompact has 19-inch, gun-metal metallic five-spoke wheels whose openings have big ole’ Boracay Blue brake calipers; an integrated spoiler coming from the roof; a center-mounted exhaust and chrome exhaust tips; motorcycle-inspired rear taillamps featuring tinted aluminum housings and a low-key Bowtie logo exposed for all to see.

They talk about the interior, but until I drive the car, and see that the features are not going to fall off and hit me in the face, descriptions of the – Will it rip? – accent stitching, and gear shift boot can wait.

Fast and tough? Powered by the same 138-horsepower (103 kW) 1.4L I-4 Ecotec turbocharged engine, as the upcoming Chevrolet Cruze, the six-speed manual transmission promises to  provide a “spirited driving experience.” Bad boys of the world unite.

And what’s more, the engine cover is shiny graphite silver with brushed aluminum. These features of the car, which goes into production late 2010, and comes out in 2011, can proudly sing, “America, America, God grant its faith in thee.”

My only experience with Daewoo was a trip to Joshua Tree where a couple of bad boys and I rented a Daewoo (when it was still straight up Korean) with total irony. Aside from the designated driver, we were on some, um, “natural substances,” and screamed “DAEWOOOOO,” the whole way–until the driver threatened to leave us under the tree.

The next time we drive to Joshua Tree (we’re all too old for substances), will we be screaming, “AAAAAVEO?” We’ll decide once we do a test drive from “sea to shining sea” without the steering wheel coming off of its column into our hands.

By Adrienne Gruben

As I wrote in my Camaro Synergy Green Special Edition article, the Americans are trying to put their best feet forward at this year’s North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) in Detroit.

Now, it’s no secret that saddled by the stigma from a rough decade or two, the American wow factor isn’t always as high as with Japanese or European product. And despite the fact that everybody borrows, no one will argue that some of the Americans have been snoozy on innovation, and even classics like Mustang and Corvette (a market that some foreign automakers have wanted to enter) are sometimes referred to as pieces of s*#t because of laziness about features as basic as cheap control panels. You’re going to want to add other negatives to the list, but you can’t – it’s my keyboard. Bottom line: American cars haven’t inspired foreign automakers to rip them off for decades.

With that out of the way, there are some efforts that seem to indicate a shift in perspective with some of the US automakers, and while they are baby steps, it may point to a larger movement here in the US of A. Now, we aren’t in the rip-off worthy realm, not even close, but we may be paying some long-needed homages, and some American car markers are going one step further–making sure their homages are up-front.

Like with its new Lilliputian lineup, regarding which Chevrolet used the word mini-car in its January newsflash headline, the automaker seems to be saying, “Ok, you have a MINI? We’re going to Americanize it, and broaden its market far beyond hip girls with the “Sex and the City” soundtrack in their iPod hookups. Ha!”  So with that, let’s take a look at Chevrolet’s smallest member of that lineup: the Spark.

With car names, sometimes you think, “What the hell?” but the Spark – which is leaving its Daewoo-ian roots and now, from some angles, calling to mind a MINI Cooper or MINI Clubman, and from others, a Scion or Yaris – seems right on. Actually, the whole thing is super smart.

On the MINI website, the Clubman is described as having a “bulldog stance” and “Spartan charm,” which would make hip “Sex and the City” fans feel like insiders.  The five door Spark, on the other hand, is not for insiders, and the un-pretentious, simple, “We are what we are,” marketing vibe let’s you know it, like when Margaret Brooks, Chevy’s marketing head for small cars said, “This small vehicle makes a big statement. With its fresh, youthful approach, we believe Spark will appeal to customers who want excellent fuel economy, functionality and style at an affordable price.”

No bulldogs or Scottish references anywhere to be found, and by using the word youthful, I don’t think Brooks just means it’s for kids driving several hours away for college at a good state school. It’s a euphemism. I also picture a newly single Mom celebrating her first self-supporting purchase, or workers who hold down several jobs needing to get from A to B, but because of its zippiness, if they’re driving home at 4AM after a double, they can at least have some fun.

And even with these design references to folks who eat blood pudding and raw fish, the car’s styling is somehow still American. Sadly, the company is being a little tight-lipped on specs, except to say it’s aimed at younger folks, will be roomy, but small enough to have agile-handling while still providing enough sturdiness to prevent from being carried away by the Lilliputians in Gulliver’s Travels.

I need to get this out of the way: Camaro’s Synergy Green Special Edition is NOT green in the trendy sense; it’s not a an electric vehicle, or even a hybrid. It’s actually green. REALLY green. “Shrek” Green. So what’s up with the green, and why do I sort of love it? Camaro spoke to me personally about it–me, and 3000 other enthusiasts.

“Just as those colors helped make the first generation Camaro an icon, modern colors like Inferno Orange, Rallye Yellow Transformers Edition and Synergy Green will define the 2010 Camaro.” And the green aint’ just on the outside. The instrument panel is green. The door inserts are green. And the Jet Black (yes they capitalized it) cloth seats, steering wheel, shift knob and center console, have Synergy Green (caps again) stitching. Hey you guys, did I mention the vehicle, which will be produced in limited quantities from February to May, was green? However, after years of attracting fans of a certain feathered hair, feathered personality ilk, Camaro is getting hip–it’s even getting props from the makers of Infiniti–Nissan. (Ok, Nissan also makes the 370Z, the company’s Camaro equivalent, but mentioning Infiniti sounds better, no? )

Like Domino’s Pizza issuing a mea culpa for its “cardboard crust”, ketchup-like sauce and a damaging YouTube video made by two rogue employees who spit on the pizza, Nissan Design America Chief Bruce Campbell issued a modified mea culpa at the NAIAS AW Design Forum (but without a controversy to apologize for). To further his point, he issued a surprising shout-out.

“There’s too much sameness. We are guilty of this sameness,” but he went on to give the Camaro props for bucking sameness, taking risks and standing out. And while he also gave props to his company’s 370Z, he continued, “We need to be bold and really challenge ourselves and challenge the sameness. We need to be bold and not to be fearful.” Now I really get why someone wrote the song “Bitchin’ Camaro.”

The company also offers more stuff that we traditionally associate with the bitchin’, iconic, sports car. The $27,000 price keeps the Synergy Green Special Edition in Camaro’s customary low to mid-range. It’s based on the Camaro LT1, has a rear spoiler, a 3.6L direct injection V-6 engine, which they’ve paired with your choice of a six-speed manual or automatic transmission. The benchmark powertrain emphasizes both performance and efficiency by having the V-6 deliver 304 horsepower and 273 lb.-ft. of torque.

Not a shout-out to Camaro’s days of yore are the amenities. There’s Bluetooth phone connectivity, a USB port for MP3 players, and remote vehicle start for models with automatic transmission, but its MPH is more old-fashioned: 29 mpg on the highway, which definitely disqualifies it from being trendy, energy-efficient green, but I guarantee you this: as grouchy as Shrek can be, it is a sports car that the pretense-loathing, but still somehow hip ogre would love to drive through the winding roads of Far, Far Away.

The 2010 North American International Auto Show began in Detroit today, and the fanfare is high, but how journalists, consumers, and the market itself will receive the cars once they emerge from those huge cloth covers is still a big mystery, one that I bet automakers wish could be solved in 45 minutes, like on “CSI: Miami.” Instead, car makers have to wring their hands through a bunch of grouchy fiscal quarters. Since the NAIAS is already being covered like a Ferrari at a pig swap, I thought that looking at how one of last year’s offerings weathered its post-unveiling hoopla might make us better prognosticators on the subject, but to make it fun in these bleak times, I chose the designer that most said, “international intrigue,” that was most likely to end up in a high-speed chase, that most reminded me of “CSI: Miami.” I chose Henrik Fisker.

Former BMW designer and now CEO and lead designer of his own firm, Fisker Automotive, Henrik Fisker is  just the kind of character on which they would base a murder victim on “CSI: Miami.” In the plot, a greedy rival steals blueprints, and the fictional Fisker is found face-down in wet clay, smothered in a model based on his own imagination. The script writers would have found inspiration while procrastinating on websites for high-end cars and running across this quote from Fisker, “”I enjoy being hands-on. Designing, of course, but also working with the modeler, smelling the clay, getting clay under my fingernails.” After reading Fisker’s real-life quote aloud in the opening scene, Lt. Horatio Caine (David Caruso) might then say, “He smelled the clay alright.” Cue: “Won’t get fooled again.”

The show would then flashback to last year’s NAIAS where Fisker Automotive unveiled the 2-door convertible version of the Karma sedan called the Fisker Karma S Sunset Concept, which was designed and engineered by co-founder Quantum Technologies which employed the used of the clean Q-DRIVE® powertrain. I can see Horatio Caine running past the blonde car girls as they are about to demonstrate how the four-seater’s retractable top folds into manageable pieces.

A key plot point for Horatio Caine and his nerdy, but hot lab techs might involve the fact that on a charge from its lithium ion battery, the two electric motors can make the Italian design-inspired coupe go 50 miles (just over 7 trips on Miami’s 7 mile highway to Key West), and then once its GM 2.0L turbocharged and direct-injected EcoTec four-cylinder engine with 260 hp kicks in, another 250–perhaps a jaunt to Epcot to hide a corpse in the Haunted Mansion?

Even though Fisker described the Karma S as, “an extension of the Fisker Automotive product range of eco-
conscious automobiles which sets the tone for our future,” the design is a little derivative – especially for a car priced at 90K – and the next-to-no backseat makes it difficult for even a size 0 blonde to fit back there comfortably, especially if she is trying to wiggle out of rope and duct tape. It would fit some blueprints though.

To solve the case, they would have to track Henrik Fisker and the Karma S’ movements since last year’s show, which is interesting in and of itself because sometimes the only thing you remember about the unveiling of a concept car – even by a good-looking, talented and energetic entrepreneur like Henrik Fisker, who in real-life refers to his inspirations, Maserati, Porsche and Jaguar, as “sexy” – is the fanfare itself. However, Fisker Automotive has had an eventful little year. (The actor playing Fisker made the fictionalized account even more eventful by pronouncing it “Zexy.”)

To start off, some journalists voted the Karma S the best North American Concept Vehicle of the year, beating out – wait for it – seven other concept cars. The company then set the record straight on some mean gossip about its loan from the Department of Energy. (Horatio did NOT like being told that the DOE documents were classified, but it was all settled when he slammed his fist on the table.) The Karma S visited real-life auto shows in Washington, Geneva and Frankfurt. (The cast, hoping for a free trip abroad, was bummed to have to shoot the Geneva chase-scenes in Burbank.)

The company also signed a letter of intent to buy a plant in Delaware, though Horatio found that shifty; Delaware’s where you can skirt all kinds of restrictive laws for corporations, but are you going to argue with 1,500 real-life customer deposits? And Fisker says by 2010′s third quarter, the Karma S will be available to selected retailers and distributors.

However, there was no bigger coup for the car since its NAIAS unveiling last January than this: the Karma S was escorted by the Crown Prince of Denmark, HRH Frederik, to the recent UN Climate Conference in Copenhagen. Fiiiiinally the “CSI: Miami” cast got its trip to Europe; they caught the fictional Fisker’s killer; and the final chase scene through the conference re-enactment went off without a hitch. At least one version of the conference accomplished its goals. Too bad it was the fictional one.

Unfortunately, this fickle and depressed market isn’t fictional, so despite its promising year, the Karma S is going to need to keep driving with its current winds to achieve success. Fisker Coachbuild, and companies like it, pepper their press materials with terms like, “cutting-edge,” “eco-innovative” and “high end,” but I couldn’t help but think of an opinion piece I’d read on Fisker that posed this question, “Will Henrik Fisker follow in the footsteps of carmaking icons like Ford and Ferrari or end up in the Tucker/DeLorean category?” It’s a mystery, perhaps best solved by Lt. Horatio Caine and his zexy team–if only they weren’t fictional characters. Hopefully real-life character, Henrik Fisker, will not end up being a victim in his own story.

None of the BMW owners I know ever disappoint in their BMW driverish-ness. They want speed, luxury and prestige, but also to be relevant and hip, sometimes even edgy. When I was a teenager in the late 80′s, my best pal Ben, drove a 1973 BMW Bavaria, and he drove it like the ultimate driving machine it was. He’s now a proud, car-less New Yorker, but back then, how would he have felt about BMW’s recent announcement?

At the North American International Auto Show (NAIAS) in Detroit, BMW will introduce the Concept plug-in ActiveE. Based on the 1-Series Coupé, it will be introduced as a production model in Paris in September and then part of a limited private and fleet leasing program in 2011. The company seems willing to risk tarnishing its long-held image as the ultimate driving machine in order to accelerate into the next gen of energy efficient vehicles, but is it worth the risk?

Ben and I grew up in the car-centric city of Dallas, Texas, and when we were 15, his over-committed parents decided he needed a “hardship license” to take himself to and from his all-boys’ school, which I’ll call St. Michael’s. When Ben told his parents that his license plate, SMEG, meant St. Michael’s Educated Guy, they believed him. They also believed that he was just driving to and from school.

To get from the sleepy North Dallas burbs to the clubs in the “Deep Ellum” section of downtown, everyone had to take the Dallas North Tollway. Ben would pile as many rowdy kids into the car as possible (I think we had 13 in that car at one point), and get the BMW up to 70 in a matter of seconds. He’d then pull up to a car in the next lane, look over in full “Wanna race?” style, and then promptly slam on the brakes, leaving the other driver completely baffled about where we’d gone, and us laughing in hysterics, but safe. THAT is a BMW.

So can BMW still be that BMW with its second project i vehicle? According to BMW, the ActiveE, “offers the driving pleasure which is characteristic of BMW automobiles.” Knowing its drivers’ steep expectations, BMW learned from the mistakes of its first gen, proprietary Lithium Ion battery, namely its unruly size and hot and cold temperature-sensitivity issues after a similar leasing program with its original project i vehicle, the MINI E. Using the MINI E as a guinea pig was smart; there was less to lose reputation-wise given the vehicle’s slightly wacky image. With knowledge under their belt, and a switch in emphasis to rear-wheel drive, they may just be able to retain the 1-Series BMW-ness, and if they’re lucky, maybe eventually upgrade it.

Let’s talk about the stats that would have excited Ben’s perpetual shotgun rider, Chris, aka Silly, a BMW driver in his own right back then, now a criminal defense attorney who would be a modern-day vigilante if he wasn’t up late reading law briefs and changing briefs of a different sort for his toddler. The ActiveE’s proprietary electric motor has a maximum output of 170 bhp and its maximum torque of 184 lb-ft is available from standing. According to BMW, the electric motor is fully integrated in the rear axle, and the power electronics are located above the motor. Without a drivetrain and fuel tank to take up space, there is more room to store energy.

And while the 13 of us couldn’t squeeze in–especially now, what BMW calls, “the intelligent arrangement of the drive components” allows for four full-size seats (unlike the MINI E’s two) and a luggage compartment volume of 7 cubic feet. Hmmm. Sounds like a good place for a pony keg.

At 3900 lbs (about 650 pounds more than then 2010 128i), a low center of gravity and an axle load distribution, the vehicle has what BMW calls, “everything it requires to provide the dynamic driving properties and agile handling in the style of the BMW 1 Series.” With its ability to go from 0-100 in less than 9 seconds, Ben and Silly would have been happy, but curious about its braking ability, and without having been publicly road-tested, its de-acceleration rate is still unknown. I guess the Deep Ellum tollway game will have to wait.

Despite the hours spent watching The Jetsons, a teenager in 1986 would not have been able to fathom a car going for 100 miles per every 4.5 hour charge from a home wall box or public charging station, but our 2010 brains know that it limits the vehicle to urban and suburban driving, though BMW is trying to change the perceptions of drivers with, “range anxiety.” That being said, The Jetsons would have been impressed that an ActiveE driver can use a mobile phone to check the charge status of the battery, search for public charging stations and activate the air conditioner or heater. But perhaps it would take someone from the actual future–not just animated characters–to understand the car’s exterior.

Designed like 1 Series Coupe, it has leather seats and a cool, modern, e-car instrument panel with cool, e-car displays, but what is up with that exterior paint job? BMW politely describes it as a “clearly recognizable differentiation from the serial production model of the BMW 1 Series Coupe.” Um, I should say so, fellas. I know that Ben and Silly wouldn’t be caught dead in that thing. Can you pick up chicks in a car that reads, “Efficient Dynamics?” Maybe. With the car not out on the roads until 2011, maybe you’ll do great with chicks from the future.