Photographs and review by Derek Mau
- A brawny V8 provides über amounts of torque
- Traction that’s better than super-glue
- Big brakes take away speed faster than your can Labrador woof down a bowl of mac-cheese
- A lot tougher than it looks
- Porsche Active Suspension Mechanism (PASM) and Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control (PDDC), combined, work harder than James Brown at the Apollo.
- The Bose audio system is so weak that the engine and exhaust note sounds better when singing at high revs
- Drinks more gas than Ludwig at Octoberfest
Verdict: The Cayenne is the anti-thesis to Miles Crane when it comes to power, refinement, and the ability to get dirty with the other off-roaders in the neighborhood.